Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
