So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
