Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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