The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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