lets start a swedish sibling band together
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Randomize
