Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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