So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
