i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
