This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just google imaged poop.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
