He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
