I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
