you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
