Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
