And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
