real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
