I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
