did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Randomize
