Apparently you make a good broom.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
