I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
