I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
why do cheetos always look like penises
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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