this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
