Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
