is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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