So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
