I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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