Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
