i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
