On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
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