Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Drunk is not a location!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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