And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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