Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
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