Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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