Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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