I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
