remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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