I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
