You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Randomize
