Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
