You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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