butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
