dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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