pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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