I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
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