Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
