She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
