I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
