you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
