The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
