I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
