eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Randomize
