When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
