My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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