Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
