So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
