bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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